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Dianne Martin, birth mom, stepmom,

Certified Stepfamily Counsellor

3 Simple Secrets of Successful Stepmoms

Being a stepmom is one of the more difficult and daunting of all mothering roles.

There are 3 simple secrets that smart stepmoms know that help them build strong and healthy relationships with their stepkids.

1)  Knowledge & Attitude

Being aware of the complex challenges of stepmothering is essential.  Smart stepmoms take time to understand the differences between first families and stepfamilies.  They know that the first few years of the stepfamily journey will be a challenge due to the multitude of issues to be ironed out amongst all family members.  Stepmoms who maintain an open, curious and inquiring attitude are on the track to successful stepmothering.

2) Grief & Loss

Smart stepmoms understand that stepkids suffer many losses which are not limited to the loss of their first family through divorce, separation or death. They have also loss their special relationship and time with their dad. Their family position may change if their stepmom also has children. Stepchildren may lose their family home, neighborhood friends, school and teammates, favorite teachers and coaches.  Stepchildren need time to grief these and other losses.

3) Transitions & Bonding

Intuitive step moms know that their stepkids need time to adjust to difficult stepfamily transitions and will gently provide emotional and practical support during this process.  Keeping the channels of communication open and allowing their stepchild to approach them at their own speed will facilitate the bonding process.  

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